Dear Joseph and Lucia,

As I’m going through my emails and getting started this morning, I put on the soundtrack to Rent.  Two songs came up that mean a lot to me.  The first is “Life Support”. Here are the lyrics:

Look, I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I’m used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don’t know

Because reason says
I should’ve died three years ago

There’s only us
There’s only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss

No other road
No other way
No day but today

I nearly died after after I lost you guys.  I spent a week in ICU.  Michèle can tell you more about it than I can.  My memories are quite sketchy during that time. She came to see me every day.  The lyrics of the song mean so much because of my constant struggle with faith and support groups. I survived, but I’m still looking/seeking for answers.

The other song is constructed as a round.  It’s “Will I”.  I tear up every time I hear it.  The hardest thing for me to do is ask for help.  And when I do, I feel incredibly weak.  But I’ve learned there are times I have to reach out and ask.

Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

Both these songs mean a lot to me.  I hope you can find the soundtrack, movie or see the stage show.  I have them all in my library.  I would love to sit on the couch and watch it with you two.  You will likely get irritated that I’ll sing all the songs.

And as always, I love you Joseph and Lucia.  You are the gems of my heart.


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