Dear Joseph and Lucia,

Today is another one of those days where everything is less than happy.  I’m struggling with your absence in my life.  It started yesterday afternoon.  I spent a while looking into the options available to me.  It is really tempting to seek legal help and file a motion to be able to reach you.  But alas, I have no idea if that would help or hinder the current situation. I want nothing more than to embrace the two of you, but my instincts tell me that won’t happen immediately. And then if I attempt legal help, I’ll end up spending money that might be more important later.

So here is my quandary… am I being a bad father by not trying to reach out, or am I doing well by making sure your current life is not disrupted?  I battle this choice every day.  About once a week I’ll do internet searches for any mention of either of you.  I’m almost holding my breath until you show up on Facebook or some other source.

Are either of you even using the internet yet? I know your mother’s policy, but you are both teenagers and in school.  I would hope you have a social life wider than when we were together.

Joseph Allen Randel. Mary Lucia Randel.  I’m waiting.

Love, Dad