Markus Randel's Blog

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

I was reflecting today on the staircase in the house in Ball Ground.  I was converting them from carpeted to hardwood. It was a lengthy process which involved removing just a few at a time just so we could still get up and down the stairs.  Just when I got to your height, your two heads popped up from the cupboard underneath the staircase and smiled at me. It warmed my heart and I took a picture.  I have it somewhere, but I can’t find it here at work. The picture I included was an Easter photo, when you were 3 and 5 (I think).

Another memory was of the dog we had in Dothan. He was a good dog, but kept chasing the geese in the pond. He got so dirty one time his fur actually turned green from all the goose poo surrounding the pond. Washing him was not very much fun. That was a fun house to live in.  We had all the fresh fish we ever wanted. I just wish we had more chances to fish in the pond.

That’s it for today. I’ll be waiting to hear from you soon.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

I’ve been doing a lot of studying recently for an upcoming certification test.  I’ve been remise in writing to you.  It doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of you, though. Every day I wonder how you are doing.  I wonder what you look like now and what your voices sound like. I was just a little younger than you are, Joseph, when my voice changed. I went from singing tenor to bass in just a month.  Lucia, you are probably sprouting in height and feeling a little awkward.  I wish I could be there for you two to help you through this difficult part of growing up.

Until I can, I’ll keep waiting and thinking of you guys all the time.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

We didn’t make it to the Sing-A-Long last night. Michèle and I went out for a late dinner, but the movie didn’t start until 11 PM.  So we came back to the house to rest up.  By the time we “rested” neither of us felt like going back out and just retired for the night.  We slept fitfully and am sleeping in this morning.

Michèle is still in bed, but I wanted to write to you guys just to say I love you. I managed to get up and scrounge up some breakfast for us and Rachael (who’s still asleep too). I look forward to when you can stay over and I can serve you breakfast.  I don’t know what you like to eat anymore, but I’m fairly good at most breakfasts.  This morning I opted for Starbucks because I was too lazy to cook anything.

Nobody in the house is feeling very good this morning and I’m the only one up.  The house is quiet except for the dog and cat.  I enjoyed watching Casey (the dog) chase squirrels and birds in the back yard. Snoopy (the cat) is full of chirps and purring constantly wanting to be pet.  As I’m writing this, she’s pawing at my arm for me to pet her even more. Otherwise, there’s just the quiet hum of the computer fan and the occasional cycling of the heater. I enjoy mornings like this.

I’ll be heading back up to OKC later today. My train tickets are already booked. Michèle will need to take me over to Fort Worth. It makes for a late evening, but the trip is so much more relaxing on the train.

Oh well. Enough rambling for the morning.  Just know I’m always waiting to serve you breakfast.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

I just want you to know that I’ve never given up on you two.

After the divorce, I was ordered to stay away from you guys.  I can only know what’s happening with you through grade cards.  And even those have all the location information whited out.

I recently tried to get more information, but the law is preventing me. It’s very frustrating. Every time I think there is a way to reach you, I’m stopped.  I don’t have enough money for a lawyer, so I’m just swinging things on my own.

If your cousin in New Iberia is reading this, I hope she will let you know I think about you two every day.  It’s not easy being a father without his children. I love you two so very much.

My only avenue is to write these letters to you openly in the hopes that one day you will know how much I care for you. Until then, just know I’ve been waiting.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

I’m looking forward to this weekend. I didn’t go home last weekend due to a bad case of the flu. So, it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve been home.

I have tickets booked for the Heartland Flyer. It’s a train between OKC and Fort Worth.  It’s a wonderful way to commute.  There’s no need to worry about bad traffic or paying attention to the road.  I’ll get to sit back and watch a movie or two and just relax.

I have tickets booked for a Rocky Horror Picture Show Sing-a-long for Saturday night.  I was Lucia’s age the first time I went to see it live.  It’s bawdy and rambunctious.  The film itself isn’t very good, but the music is awesome.  The fun part is the catcalls during the film. I hope to share this experience with you two one day. It had a large impact on me when I was your age.

I might go for some shwarma with Michèle.  I’ve missed it.

Until next time, I’ll be waiting.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

I know I’ve told you about your new mum (Michèle) before.  This week has given me further proof how lucky I am to have her in my life.

We talk every morning at 7:45. We keep in touch throughout the day via text and Facebook.  During the weekends, we spend as much time as we can together. I value the times I can serve her breakfast in bed.

She’s recently become active in Parental Alienation and has attended a few meetings in the local area. She misses you both having never met you.

You have a Mum that loves you unconditionally. I can’t wait for you to get a chance to meet her. I know you will love her. She has a beautiful soul and a loving heart.

Again, I’m so lucky to have her in my life.

I’ll be waiting to introduce you guys to her.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

Today seems just like any other day.  But, I want to let you know how much I miss you. Every morning, I wake up with you both on my mind.  Even if I don’t have anything new to share with you, I want you to know you are always in my thoughts.

Michèle has started to attend group meetings for Parental Alienation so she can better understand what I’m going through.  She’s also helping out with the group to bring an end to this tragedy. I’m so proud to have her as a wife.  I promise you, she will love and support both of you when you finally meet her.

In the mean time, I’ll continue to write letters and blogs. Given the barriers your mother has placed, it’s all I can do.  So I wait for one of you to reach out.  I’m here. I’ll always love you.

Love,
Dad

Dear Joseph and Lucia,

I’m sorry I didn’t write to you yesterday.  I’ve been a little under the weather.  I spent the majority of the day in bed.  I made it into work today and am forcing myself to be productive.

I have a test coming up next month.  I’m getting tested to become a Certified LabVIEW Developer (CLD).  It’s a big thing.  I’ve started studying.  I hope you will pray for me to do well. With this certificate, I’ll have a much better chance to do well in my industry.

Do good. Ask questions. Grow. And never be afraid to reach out to me. I’m here waiting.

Love,
Dad